College Football Opening Weekend: Brought to You by Capitalist Propaganda

Opening Night (Thursday)

This is one of the most anticipated weekends of the year.  The start of college football.  Dick’s Sporting Goods Kickoff Week opened up on Thursday night with two snoozers.  South Carolina and NC State tried to put us to sleep, so nobody would be awake for that dismal performance of Oregon (16) battling Boise State (14) on the SmurfTurf.

The highlight of that game was LeGarrette Blount giving a right hook to the jaw of Boise State defensive end,  Byron Hout, then having to be restrained by two security guards, a couple coaches, and a teammate, to prevent Blount from reenacting the melee at the Palace between the Indiana Pacers and Detroit Pistons fans several years ago.  Needless to say, after Blount’s antics were displayed on national television (despite nobody on the East Coast staying up to see it), he has been suspended for the season.

The one thing that perplexes me about the situation is how nobody on Boise State went after Blount.  A handful of Bronco’s players watched as their teammate got knocked to the ground by a disgruntled Oregon player, yet not one of them even considered standing up for their boy.  Makes you wonder if that kid had it coming to him.

I do want to give props to a Boise State fan who was holding a sign saying, “Even Emilio Estevez Can’t Save These Ducks!”  I like the creativity.

Saturday Morning

Moving on to Saturday of the Dick’s Sporting Goods Opening Kickoff week, Ohio State (6) struggled in a game at home verse a very crafty Navy (unranked) squad, on ESPN: the worldwide leader in sports.  Those pesky Midshipmen.  It took an interception on the goal line to prevent Ohio State from the upset of the month.  They better get their act together before USC comes to town next week.

Throughout the game, the broadcast kept giving plugs for the Chick-fil-A Kickoff Game, between Alabama (5) and Virginia Tech (7), at 8:00pm Eastern, presented by Southwest Airlines, all part of Dick’s Sporting Goods Kickoff Week.  I’ll be sure to tune into that later.

Okay, I’m sorry but am I missing something?  Terrell Pryor is supposed to be the most lethal college quarterback since Vince Young, and Ohio State’s offense can only muster 29 points verse Navy!? Navy used to be good…about 50+ years ago.  And Penn State (8) who is supposed to have their most talented squad in years, can only put up 31 against Akron!? Isn’t Akron where LeBron James went to high school?  Oh, and don’t forget that Iowa (22) had to block two field goals, on two consecutive plays, to hold off Northern Iowa (unranked) 17-16.  Big-10 offenses suck.  Michigan was the only team that did what they were supposed to and scored 31 in the first half…verse Western Michigan.

Periodically I would switch over to the Minnesota/Syracuse game to watch former Duke guard, Greg Paulus quarterback for the Orange.  I have to admit, he looked pretty good for not playing organized football in four years.

Following the Ohio State/Navy game, I switched over to Georgia (13) verse Oklahoma State (9), on ABC.  ABC has a solid lineup of shows premiering this fall.  If I watch enough football, I will probably learn the names of all those shows.

Also, Aflac made sure that everyone watching the Georgia/Oklahoma State game knew about their insurance.  I think I might need to get me some Aflac.  If I get hospitalized and am out of work for a while, Aflac will cut me a check to cover my monthly expenses, such as mortgage payments, utilities, and food.  Sweet….what’s the catch?

Even though the first half of this game was a little slow, I was glad I stuck around to watch the Cooper Tires halftime report.  Cooper Tires did an excellent job of bringing me up to speed on the scores and highlights from around the country.  And the AT&T All-American flashback paid tribute to former Michigan running back Mike Hart, giving viewers a chance to text in their vote for Mike Hart; all part of the Cooper Tires halftime report.  More AT&T All-American flashbacks will be shown throughout the game.  Thank you Cooper Tires and AT&T.

I would occasionally switch over to NBC to check on Charlie Weis’s Notre Dame squad in the fifth year of his college coaching internship.  They’re playing Nevada.  Later in the season, they play both Washington schools (a combined two wins last year).  Aside from their annual battle with USC, their next toughest opponent is a tossup between Stanford, Boston College, and Pitt (although after Navy’s performance at Ohio State, maybe they should be considered a formidable opponent).  Based on their schedule and returning starters, if Notre Dame doesn’t go at least 10-2 this year, it’s a disappointment and Weis should be fired.  Needless to say, they took care of Nevada.

On commercials I was bouncing around the ESPN’s, ABC, NBC, and FSN to check up on games.  Thankfully, the broadcasters would periodically show the Pacific Life game summary.  I guess Pacific Life wants to insure that people who are just tuning in can get up to speed.

If the USC game was televised in the Pacific Northwest, I would have been watching that game, but I guess San Jose State isn’t a worthy enough opponent to televise the game outside of the LA/Bay areas.  It re-aired at 9:30 pm.  To nobody’s surprise (after an embarrassing first quarter), SC was able to handle the Spartans with ease, 56-3.  Bring on the Buckeyes!

Prime Time Saturday

Later in the afternoon, Dick’s Sporting Goods took their sponsorship even further to offer the Dick’s Sporting Goods Cowboys Classic (in Cowboy Stadium), presented by Hampton Hotels, between BYU (20) and Oklahoma (3), as part of Dick’s Sporting Goods Kickoff week.  Go to Arlington, Texas, stay in a Hampton Hotel, and check out Jerry Jones’ new state of the art Cowboy Stadium, featuring the video board that blocks punts, and receive a stadium tour from the man himself (for a small fee of course).

Too bad that Sam Bradford injured his throwing shoulder.  That could really shake things up for Oklahoma, now that last year’s Heisman winner has a bum shoulder, and Oklahoma loses the first game of the season.  It goes to show how unpredictable college football is.

Colin Cowherd (host of The Herd on ESPN Radio) always talks about how success is measured by expectations.  If you expect to win the national championship, and you don’t, then the season is a failure.  Well, for college football, it is so difficult to hold such high expectations before the season even starts.  Between the personnel changes each year, with players leaving and new freshman coming in, and the unexpected injuries, it’s no surprise that so many teams that receive a ton of hype end up falling short of preseason expectations.  Bradford’s injury just exemplifies how every team is just one play away from potentially ruining their season.

I always say, expect the worst and hope for the best, that way you’ll never be disappointed.  I’ve developed that mantra after years of being an Eagles fan.

I was continuously switching back and forth between the Cowboys Kickoff and the Chick-fil-A Kickoff Game between Alabama (5) and Virginia Tech (7).

There were so many commercials during this game that it took all the excitement out of it.  The game was soooo long.  They need to cut back on the TV timeouts during these games.

Is it just me, or does Nick Saban just seem like a mean person?  From a player-coach relationship standpoint, I feel like he would be horrible to play for.  He inflicts so much fear in his players to the point where they are so scared of the consequences of not succeeding, that they go out and kick everyone’s butt.  Great coaching strategy.

The best part about this game was that it had more than enough sponsorships to go around.  After the Chick-fil-A Spicy Crispy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich First Quarter, presented by Southwest Airlines Frequent Flier Miles, courtesy of Mastercard…..(deep breath)….I expected everyone in attendance to receive either a free sandwich or roundtrip airfare.

The problem I have with Va Tech is they keep trying to reincarnate Mike Vick.  Tyrod Taylor is not worth all the hype he has received.  Yeah, Alabama has a great defense, but Taylor doesn’t seem like he’s making the right decisions at the right moment.  He’s very athletic, but he’s an inconsistent passer, and keeps trying to prove he can throw the ball.  VT is overrated to start the season again.

Pac-10

After that game I flipped over to Maryland (unranked) verse Cal (12) to see if the Golden Bears are really worth the hype.  I was also checking out LSU (11) at Washington (horrible) to see if former SC offensive and defensive coordinators, Steve Sarkisian and Nick Holt can have any success leading the Huskies coaching staff.

I have to say, Cal looked pretty good.  They’re going to give SC a run for their money in the Pac-10.  Runing Back Jahvid Best (led the nation last year in ypc at 8.1) is the real deal and their quarterback, Kevin Riley looked very impressive.

Also, I was impressed with Washington.  I rescind my “horrible” ranking from before.  They outplayed LSU in the first half, and if it wasn’t for Locker’s pick-6 in the first quarter, the Huskies would’ve had the lead at halftime.  I think LSU’s talent and athleticism got the better of UW in the second half, but they are definitely playing with a different attitude than last year.

The one other game I was checking up on was Stanford verse Washington State.  Before the season, I had Stanford as my dark horse in the Pac-10, and after their beat down of Wazzu, I still think they could cause some problems in the conference.  I predict they will finish third, behind USC and Cal.

Monday

Finally, the big week wrapped up on Monday, with a Big East showdown between my dad’s alma maître, Rutgers, and the Cincinnati Bearcats, followed by a what-used-to-be-a-big-matchup between Miami and (18) Florida State.  What ever happened to those two schools?  Cincinnati and Rutgers are both better than those former powerhouses.  Well, maybe not Rutgers.  Who woulda thought that day would ever come?

But you know what?  Miami/Florida State was by far the best game of the weekend.  It was like Miami/FSU from a decade ago!  This game was incredible!  It was back and forth the whole game, with a whoever-has-the-ball-last-is-going-to-win feel.  Too bad it took five days to finally get a decent game.  It was worth the wait, though.  This was one of the best games I have seen in a while.  That missed extra point in the first half really came back to bite FSU in the butt.  Miami’s frosh QB is legit, and the quality of the game actually distracted me from the sponsorships.

The stadiums were well equipped with Bank of America banners and Allstate field goal nets.  I wonder how any school would pay for these necessities without the generous contributions from these philanthropic companies…

Back in the day, before TV timeouts, how did players ever find a moment to rest?  I think all these student athletes, and the fans, owe a big thank you to Pizza Hut, Pepsi, and Priceline.com for providing us with ample opportunities to catch our breath, go to the bathroom, and grab a hot dog.

One more thing, I am refusing to go see the movie Sorority Row, for the sole fact that the quantity of televisions spots for it has angered me.  At first I wanted to see it, because it’s a bunch of hot girls in sleepwear running around.  Now I hope all the girls of Theta Pi die…without my money.

I’m calling it right now - within five years, football jerseys will look like NASCAR uniforms.  You’ll barely be able to see the numbers amidst all the logos.

I can’t wait ’til the NFL kicks off next weekend…brought to you by Miller-Coors Brewing Company, in conjunction with Visa, presented by Yahoo! Sports: home of America’s number one fantasy football site, and given to you by Levitra - enabling you to keep her happy, for up to four hours at a time before having to receive immediate medical attention.